Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom. And to all the moms out there who raised little punks like me.

On a sentimental note, this little clip is a wonderful tribute to motherhood and an incredible example of the sustaining power of faith and family, regardless of your beliefs.

Babysitting Co-op

A few of you asked about the babysitting co-op we have going here, so I thought I'd post the rules and such. Kathryn, our brilliant timekeeper, has compiled a set of rules that we follow, and so far it's been a great system. We use Google documents so everyone can see the master timesheet that Kathryn keeps for us.

How it works:

1. Each member starts with 10 hours.

2. You may call anyone on the co-op members list and anyone may call you to arrange babysitting. You are ALWAYS free to say "no" to watching someone's children—no explanation is required.

2. The co-op may be used for daytime or evening hours. It is up to you to arrange when/where babysitting will take place. It can be at the sitter’s house or your house.

3. Hours are recorded in 15 minute increments and the moderator (Kathryn) keeps track of everyone's hours. Each member should keep a record of her own hours on a timesheet as well.

4. Hours are credited/debited at the rate of real minutes for the first child and half minutes for each additional child.

Example: If Cathi babysits Asher and Silas for 2 hours, Sarah will give 3 hours to Cathi. The full 2 hours for Asher, and ½ of the two hours for Silas, which is 1 hour.

Some Rules:

1. Every time you arrange for someone in our group to babysit your children, report your hours to the moderator. Email works best.

Example email: “please credit Sarah with 3 hours of time”

The moderator will then subtract 3 hours from your total, and add 3 hours to Sarah’s.

It is courteous to copy the person who babysat for you on the email so that they know they've been credited. Every month or so the moderator will send out an update of how many hours each person has, and you can always ask for your personal total if you need to know.

2. You cannot go below 0 hours or accumulate more than 24 hours. Accumulated hours in excess of the original 10 hours that are not used for 6 months will be redistributed to the group.

3. If you choose to leave the group and you have less than 10 hours, please babysit until you have 10 hours accumulated. You owe it to the group. Conversely, if you decide to leave the group and you have more than 10 hours accumulated, you are welcome to use the extra hours. If you choose not to, they will be re-distributed to the group.

Other Stuff:

A. We will compile a contact list consisting of name, address, home and mobile phone numbers, and emergency contacts.

B. It is always okay to say no. Just because you are in the group and free for a particular time does not mean you need to feel obligated to say yes to someone or to give an excuse.

D. If someone is babysitting for you and you are running late please call and ask the person if they have anywhere they need to be, or if it's okay for them to watch your kids longer than you first talked about. The babysitter has the right to say no and ask you to send someone else to pick up your kids. This does not happen very often but needs to be said.

Progress (and lack thereof)

Her choice of reading material is interesting -- it's the textbook from a weight training class I took at BYU. Wrong kind of training, kid.

Yep, we've got a toiler reader. Not a toiler goer, yet, though. We have to bribe her with M&M's just to get her to sit on it, which is only once a day now.

She sleeps in a "bigur bed" (big girl bed). We put her crib mattress on the floor for now. We're waiting for our neighbor to get back from vacation so we can borrow his truck to get her a real bed. He just doesn't know it yet.

Ivy doesn't get excited about food. It breaks my heart. I've tried giving her 4-5 different things and changing up the texture, but her reaction remains the same -- scrunched nose, awkward tongue movements, spitting, and sometimes shivers. She LOVES to suck on big pieces of carrot, though. (And cantaloupe and apple, if I hold them for her) So. . . I got to thinking. If she likes sucking on big, cold things instead of eating warm mush, maybe she'd like eating her pureed food in frozen chunks.

I broke off some pieces of butternut squash puree that was in the freezer and fed it to her in pea-sized chunks. While I didn't get the kicking, excited reaction I always got from Sophie, she at least didn't scrunch up her nose. She even opened her mouth and reached for it. We have a long way to go, I think. I really hope I'm not nursing this time next year. Seriously, where did this child come from? She is the polar opposite of Sophie in every way. (Except for her size.)

By the way, if anyone is interested in making their own baby food (it's not that hard), WholesomeBabyFood.com is an excellent resource.

Happy Mother's Day

That yellow mess would be a mango-banana-pineapple-yogurt smoothie mixed with leftover vegetable soup from the night before (that she refused to eat). She drank about four glasses full. Despite the mess, I'm glad she got her veggies. She's picky now. But I'm getting sneakier.

This picture pretty much sums up what we've been up to these, um . . . ten days since I've posted. (Sorry Grandma & Grandpa.) Like I said on my other blog, I've been using this past week or so to catch up on some housework and try to organize our home a little better. OK, mostly to sort through the girls' clothes and rotate some out from a storage bin in the garage. It's a lot of work. They have so many clothes that I wonder sometimes why I do laundry so much. Oh yeah, because my closet is the one lacking - or rather - the amount of clothes I can fit into is small in comparison.

Where was I? Oh yeah, trying to clean our house with a tornado behind me. It's like taking two steps forward and one step backward. Or one step forward and 14 steps backward. When I get overwhelmed and can't get our home to stay as organized as I would like, I just try to remember that my kids won't be little for very long. I spoke to my mom on the phone last year a few days after visiting them and she said she hadn't put Sophie's toys away. She said she missed having them scattered all over the floor. I try to remember that, let some of the clutter stay, and enjoy my girls in the stages they're in. (Although, a few hundred extra square feet would make the messes seem smaller.)

Speaking of not getting everything done that I would like, I have a squirmy little Ivy on my lap rubbing her eyes . . . So,

[Insert flowery, sentimental tribute to mothers.]

Happy Mothers Day to all women in our lives! We love you!

You Knew This Was Coming

Dear Mom,

Happy Birthday! This one's rather important, isn't it? I hope the jump into the next decade of your life is a happy one. You'll always be "29" to me. :) (That's kind of odd to think about since I'll be 29 this year....) Since I did a birthday post for Dad, I've been thinking about what I wanted to say for yours. Let me tell you . . . finding a time to write this when both girls are asleep, and I don't need to be anywhere immediately afterward was tricky. The last thing I need is mascara running down my sad, sleep-deprived face when I run out the door. I hope you don't need to go anywhere either because we both know what's going to happen. :)

. . . and it doesn't matter how important the day or how photogenic we need to be. It's going to happen. Oh why did the photographer tell us to look at each other?!

I've been thinking about all of the things you've taught me over the years, and a million things come to mind. How can anyone list what their mother, the most influential person in a child's life, has taught them? I can only try.

I have you (and grandma, which is where you got it) to thank for my love of food and cooking. You made us dinner almost every night, but more importantly, you made us eat together as a family. That time together was really important to our family, and it's something that I'll continue to do with my own.

Ah yes. . . those infamous orange curtains. I wonder if this picture was taken before or after Dev spilled chocolate milk all over them?

You taught me how to clean. You wouldn't let me quit piano lessons (thanks again by the way). You let me do things that I know were really hard on you -- like go to Russia. I still remember the look on your face when I told you where it was I wanted to go. You'll always be my favorite shopping buddy, too . . . though not for reasons you might think. :)

I tend to give inanimate objects names and personalities. ("Ruby", my Kitchen-Aid mixer, is the diva of my kitchen.) I totally get that from you. You're also the only one who has convinced me so far to love an animal like a younger sibling.

I like that we think alike, and that I can always make you laugh, even if I'm not really that funny. I'm glad that you listen, too. And that you encourage me to make my own decisions (although I know on the inside you're rooting for one side). I don't usually call up people just to chat, but you're one of maybe three who I call for no reason.

I should have trusted you more when I was dating, and I'm also glad you weren't outspoken about who you didn't like. (Would I have listened? Probably not.) I appreciate that you just wanted me to be happy, no matter who I ended up with. As I look back on the guys I dated, and I think of who I sensed you didn't care for, you were totally right. What the heck was I thinking? Aren't we relieved I ended up with a good one?

. . . to help give you guys gorgeous grandchildren? :)

I love that I get compliments on you. I've been told by a lot of people that I have a beautiful, young, & spunky mom. It's true. I do. I've always been proud to have you around. And you look amazing for your age. Honest.

You taught me that I should never say no when offered a church calling nor asked to be released, but to serve my best for as long as I'm needed. You taught me to turn to the Lord when I have problems, and that if I just trust Him, everything works out the way it should. And it has so far.

I'm sure I'm missing a whole lot of things, but one of the most important things you taught me was to be a good mom. We had our rough spots (sorry...), but I never doubted that you loved me. I've always thought it was a shame that kids don't realize how hard it is being a parent until they're parents themselves. I guess that's the way it's supposed to be. One by one, things you told me growing up that I'd understand when I'm a mom are starting to make sense. And it serves me right that I have a little girl with an attitude. Maybe Karma does exist.

Now that I'm nice and weepy, I better stop. I hope you have a great birthday, and that you didn't mind me "putting this in the newspaper". Haha . . . Dad cracks us up, doesn't he? I wish I could give you a hug. Mostly I wish I could get a hug from you. I don't think I'll ever get too old to love hugs from my mom.

Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you!

Love,
Your sassy little firstborn

Enjoying the Moment

I read this quote on a friend's blog, and I've been meaning to post it for a few days. It was a good reminder for me. I always need reminding.

“The biggest mistake I made as a parent is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of my three children sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.” (As quoted by Elder M. Russell Ballard in his talk, "Daughters of God.")

Reality

I read a few blogs that talked about being "real" in their blogs. These women don't always paint a rosy picture of their lives and give you the impression that they have angelic children and a spotless home all the time. I like that because it makes me realize that motherhood is a struggle for everyone -- not just me . . . which brings me to my next point.

I had a lousy week last week, and I noticed in the blogosphere that I wasn't alone. I won't go into details, but it mostly has to do with Sophie. I get so frustrated with her lately. Most of my frustration isn't directed towards her, though, but towards myself. I hate how fast I lose my patience with her when she acts up. Not just acting up, though, but acting up with a defiant little attitude. And doing the same things over and over (like smacking Ivy in the face with wooden objects). In the heat of the moment, I really want to smack her across the face, and it takes all the self-control I have to resist. I never thought I would ever feel that way, and a few minutes later when the moment has passed and she's back to her sweet and innocent self, I wonder how I could ever hurt her.

Thursday was a particularly trying day. My nerves were shot, and I had a little breakdown when Steve came home from school. I had a visiting teaching appointment that night, and I almost backed out because I really wasn't in the right frame of mind. I went anyway. I'm sure the spiritual thought I shared was anything but spiritual, but throughout the chats we had, I was the one who went away uplifted. I knew what I needed to do at home. I love how visiting teaching works like that sometimes -- everyone is uplifted, not just the one who's being visited.

Things have gotten better. I've re-prioritized what really needs to get done around the house so I can give her more attention, and I try to make Sophie's naptimes more productive. We decided that our nighttime routine of spending an hour plus in Sophie's room trying to get her to sleep every night was probably unnecessary right now, so we turned her bed around so she can't get out by herself anymore. She's basically back to a crib. Sophie put up a big fight, but luckily it was short-lived.

I think the root of Sophie's behavior is pretty simple: she's got competition now. Some of the best advice I got from a friend (thanks Missy) was to take care of the newborn's basic needs, but really focus on the older child. I try to give Sophie all the one-on-one time I can and involve her in Ivy's care, but Sophie wants all of me. I can't give her that anymore. I guess we'll just have to remember "this too shall pass", and wait for the day when they'll be able to play together. Sophie might still be hitting her in the face with wooden letters, but at least Ivy will be able to defend herself.

I'm sharing this with all of you because I think that, with all of us networked so tightly in the blogging world, we're in a perfect position to help and lift each other. I'm not into airing dirty laundry or sharing private things on the internet, but there's a lot we can learn from each other's day-to-day experiences. I already have by reading many of yours.

Thank you :)